How to Win Friends and Influence People

New to the world of microwaves and glass top stoves, I have officially broken the microwave. Then today when I moved a pan of mac 'n cheese off the stove I placed the lid to a tub of butter on the still hot burner. I didn't notice until it started to smell. Even with all windows open the stink was overwhelming and I lost my appetite. As I sat outside on my steps I noticed a young guy digging in the back dumpster, so I shouted down and offered him lunch.

Since I arrived in Austin I've wondered about the numerous beggars who seem to have their own community. Mostly young people, they beg in groups, sometimes play guitar between requests of "Spare a smoke?" They combine change to buy one can of beer at 7-Eleven. They are a jolly crew of hippy homeless. They make the Chicago bums look corporate. And my favorite Chicago bum would proudly show me his crack rock, whereas these guys are smoking reefer or just drinking.

Anyway, Max has been train-hopping since 14. For some time he had a government house in New Orleans, until Katrina hit and he went on the road again. Many of the beggars in Austin travel in groups, and he sees them in other parts of the country as they do contract construction, farming, or the traditional cup-rattling. The only relative he has alive is a jewish grandmother in northern Texas, and she's not so keen on him paying visits. He mentioned the idea of going to Israel, I mentioned that all Jews are entitled to a free trip there if they have never been before. Finally, my useless knowledge put to use.

New vocab: Rainbow Kids (ok, I already knew this one) are hippy homeless, mostly travel around the country, lots of couch hopping/camping/pot/other drugs.
Punk bums are punk, travel, mostly drink, some drugs.
Train Hoppers, mostly alcoholics.
Home Bums, homeless who stay in one place year round. They tend to be older.

There is a Yiddish word, beschert, or meant to be. Maybe I was meant to melt plastic, ruin my appetite, share my lunch, learn new street terms, and send a guy to Israel today. And as I am still struggling to meet people, he did me the favor of providing today's human interaction.

Movies with a Twist

I love the Vic in Chicago, a divey movie theater with tables and barfood, but Austin kicks that idea up a few notches. I've heard many raves about the Alamo Drafthouse, a chain of theaters that play new releases, movie sing alongs, and old classics depending on your tastes. Zab, his friends and I went to the Christmas Pancake show which was a montage of holiday movie clips ranging from Home Alone and Rudolph to Pee Wee Herman's Christmas special. But it doesn't stop there...

Like Mystery Science Theater 3000, three live comedians add their own voiceovers during the movie. They take a long intermission and perform rowdy improv skits, like Jesus in his underwear singing an audience chosen theme song "Testicles for Christmas". I've seen tons of funny improv and would give this a top rating, but it's one of those you had to be there experiences.

The Alamo is normal theater seating but with a bar running along each row, a waitress, and a full menu. I had the Poultry-geist chicken sandwich, Slumdog Millionaire Samosas, fried pickles, and a Guinness milkshake. The milkshake might be the most brilliant idea for a dessert drink ever, and if it weren't $7 I would have ordered a few more.

When we left the Alamo, I heard someone shout "There's Leslie!" but alas, it was a false spotting.

After the movies, headed over to Main Event, which is like Dave & Busters without the noise, overcrowding, and ghetto-ness. We went glow-in-the-dark bowling, played arcade games, and then shuffle board. No, not the shuffle board with the long pole you play while wearing boat shoes. I'm guessing other parts of the country have this but I've never seen it before: A long narrow table covered in sand which helps you slide heavy pucks down the wooden field. The goal is to score points and knock your opponent off the table, and it is surprisingly addictive.

Pic below of a cowboy bowling. My definition of cowboy is any guy with a dark tan, broad shoulders, thick biceps, skinny legs, a tucked in shirt, and very snug pants. A cowboy bowling is all that, but with a backwards baseball cap and bowling shoes. For some reason, I find this hilarious.

Surf and Turf

My friend Zab was in town from D.C. and I went with him and his local friends to Saltgrass Steak House. We reminisced about the strangely cool magnet school we attended as kids plus all the news of the past decade, a continuation from our 10 year reunion last week. (Reunion by the way was a big success, lots of attendees, and I fulfilled my planning duties by drinking like a fish.)

Not usually a fan of beef, in fact I didn't eat beef for 8 years, I will say that the 6 ounce strip steak I ordered melted in my mouth. This was my first experience with steak I could cut with a fork. I also ordered the coconut shrimp which I've had many versions of but never like this - it was spicy and sweet, and I'd have to guess they added tobasco to the breading. That's the thing about the Texas pallet, spicy is everywhere and the chips are always made fresh.