The Male of the Species

Last Saturday I watched the Texas Independence Parade on Congress. It was not well attended despite warm weather. I was the lonesome, dorky, adult-child waving to cowboys and shamelessly collecting candy. My favorites were the lawn chair drill team routine and the UT band playing "Deep in the Heart of Texas".

Men in uniform are instantly more attractive. If you then put that man on a horse, he can easily reach hot-biscuit status. Maybe it's because horses make people look taller.

I'm still tripped-up by Texas men. I've tried to buy male friends drinks after they buy me drinks, but they flat refuse. Either I look desperately poor, or there is strong non-dutch behavior. So if no one will accept my drinks, how do I say, "Thanks for inviting me out" or "Thanks for driving me on an errand"? Chivalry can be a little inconvenient.

I wait for people to get off the bus before I get on because that is proper bus etiquette. Yet if there is a man, or men, getting off the bus - they wait for the ladies to get on the bus. Which means the driver waits longer while I skootch around the men in the aisles. Or if I am leaving a store and hold the door open for a man, he will walk halfway through the door, then grab it from me and try to hold it for me even though I'm going the other way and suddenly have to crouch beneath his armpit to get past him. It makes no sense!

I'm charmed by the gentility, really I am. But in my experience, when you let someone treat you like a princess rather than holding your own, they do eventually call-in their chips. I keep a wary eye on this southern etiquette, lest I accumulate too much debt to one entire gender.